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Barnet Steve
11:01 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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I lost both my parents to cancer, and it was two very different scenarios. My Dad had lung cancer (smoked roll-ups all his life, so was no great surprise), and the end came incredibly quickly.
My mum was diagnosed late with pancreatic cancer, and it was a slow decline. She was a pragmatic sort, but I would say just be there for her and don't be afraid to ask questions of the Doctors, etc, for a clear outline of the possibilities and dangers.
My mum was one for 'not wanting to cause a fuss', so we felt we had to get all the info and pass it on to her. You will also find that the much-maligned NHS is absolutely brilliant in circumstances like this. Their care system and visiting teams are fantastic, and it was only when my mum had to be admitted to hospital that we ever had any issues.
It is different for everyone, obviously, but her knowing you are there will be a huge tower of strength. I hope she beats it. There is more chance of this now than ever before, so all the best to her - and you.
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,
10:51 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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Dave, I wish your mum well. As you have given no details we cannot accurately speculate or compare experiences. I would say though that in my experience of someone with a cancer condition that is terminal the person who is usually calmest and resolute is the sufferer. What seems to affect them most is the emotional state of their loved ones.
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Nagel
8:43 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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When my Mum was diagnosed with cancer I quit my job and moved closer to where she lived.
As it turned out the chemo didn't bother her too much at all and it worked well so she's now in remission.
So yeah, I would advise sticking to the normal daily shenanigans/routine until you know how much help she might need.
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Crassus
8:23 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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Been through this with Dad, best advice I can give is to fully understand your Mum's condition. Cancer is a broad title with stacks of info out there, most of which will mislead you, so make sure that you are correctly informed.
The medical pro's you meet will not all be clear and concise, so question and challenge them until you have the answers you completely understand, you may wish to do so privately too.
Once you do know, go from there.
Above all else, you have my sympathies, be there for Mum and stay strong - best wishes.
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stomper
3:01 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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There's even chat lines which are up to date and good. Such as: http://csn.cancer.org/forum/1
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medwayhammer1
2:58 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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As if by magic Stomper arrives....told you someone else would turn up...and much more eloquent then me...not to mention shorter replys and totaly right about palative care.
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stomper
2:56 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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"dont google anything either cos majority of it is crap and will just depress you. Oh and dont dwell on statistics etc...majority of em are well out of date."
Words of wisdom, and anything not out of date will be insane.
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stomper
2:53 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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Palliative care is not a death sentence, it can be a temporary treatment for a temporary need.
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medwayhammer1
2:53 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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Firstly sorry to hear this Dave, must be a worrying time obviously. Been battling this cunt for the past 2 and half years! My words of wisdom are dont give up hope and cliche as it is, hope your mum takes it one day at a time..believe it or not things can change over night! I was told no surgery etc, chemo only but I mentioned surgery at every appointment I had with my Oncologist and my other teams involved and I was always told the same thing...but the day came when I did get offered surgery! Moral is keep banging on about the treatment options, even if they aint avaliable at first...first thing my consultant told me was dont give up hope because new things and advancements are happening all the time...keep badgering em in a nice way..! I always thought " Stay positive" was a load of old bollox, but it really does help...hopefully your mum and you and the family will have the same attitude....your gonna beat the cunting thing. I dont know what type your mum has been diagnosed with, but their are lots of good forums online** which are really helpfull and supportive...yep I know they sound a bit shite, and I thought the same thing, but they are really supportive and loads of valuable info on there....dont google anything either cos majority of it is crap and will just depress you. Oh and dont dwell on statistics etc...majority of em are well out of date. Thats my opinion anyway and I was a well advanced bowel cancer patient and still here to tell the tale so far..hard as it may be, try and keep the faith...believe me it helps a great deal. Good luck to your mum and im sure there will be others on here to pass on their experiences and advice soon....plus they wont bang on like me.
** Not as good as WHO obviously
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stomper
2:51 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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gank
Go to hell!
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claret50
2:49 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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Sorry to hear about that Dave, many on here have or have had cancer, some have been given the all clear - I was fortunate - from the oncologist and others are still having ongoing treatment, as mentioned in a previous post there are so many types of cancer, if you live in the UK the Macmillan Trust offer tremendous support for the patient and the family.
https://www.macmillan.org.uk/
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joe royal
2:34 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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It killed my dad.
The words you don't want to here are "palative care"
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gank
2:34 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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meets the criteria for west ham online. off-topic thread
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yogib
2:10 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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My Mum had Breast Cancer while I was living in Dubai a few years ago and none of my family told me till I came back for a visit...was gutted that I wasn't there to support her.
If your mum has to have Chemo she will need someone to take her to and from the sessions and also be a support - may be better for her to have female support, but contact McMillan for help and advice - wish her all the best and hope she gets better.
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Takashi Miike
1:45 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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sorry to here that Dave, I wish your Mum all the best with her treatment
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stomper
1:42 Fri Dec 2
Re: Mum's got cancer
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Sorry to hear that mate.
What sort of Cancer? What stage? Its a frightening word and can seem worse than it actually is.
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